In the younger years of my life, I had always been fearless. I always had this sense of protection over me. I wasn't saved then, not really. Being raised catholic I had been baptized young and had a first Communion at the age of ten. I lost my faith at fourteen, ensnared by the jaws of doubt and teenage despair. Yet, I still felt God within me, protecting me. I just didn't give Him the credit.
I did many reckless things during my teenage years. I lied, I stole, I cheated, I hated. Drinking and drugs were a part of my life and I ran off to places without telling my parents, putting my life in the hands of strangers miles and miles from sanity and home. I spent nights out on the street. Sometimes I had very little to eat and keep me warm. Through out all that self destruction I never once had a fear. I always KNEW and BELIEVED everything was proceeding as it meant to. I always KNEW and BELIEVED that no matter where I was, I was safe.
When the Lord had me where he wanted me to be, he decided to call me home. Home to my faith and home to my path. In a small town in Texas half way across the country, miles and miles from what I called home, I met a man and a girl. The Lord brought me to them to be saved. In a small town in Texas, In a Church in the South Plains, God saved me. I was happy.
I didn't realize that now, things were up to me. I started to feel my sense of protection slip away. I began to panic. I started to feel like I had done something wrong. Wasn't I supposed to be getting closer to Him? Shouldn't I be imbued with the Holy Spirit? I was Saved after all. So, what was the problem? Was there something wrong with me or had I DONE something wrong? Why was God not with me?I would read my bible. I could feel the Christ in my heart but only from time to time. It wasn't like before.
I went to the man who helped bring me to Christ and asked him my questions. He explained to me a little thing that he knows about Christianity. It is that, Christianity has its seasons. It's lovely spring when you begin to feel Christ growing in your heart. The warm summers, when the love of the Lord is filling you're heart. In it's tepid autumn you begin to feel the doubts and fears chill your heart. Last, there are the lonely winters, cold and anxious you wander looking for God's light, for spring. It was my first winter after a lifetime of springs and summers.
I went to the girl who helped bring me to Christ and told her me fears. Taking my hand she walked me though the pages of the bible. With pens marking our path and post it notes becoming landmarks of our progress, I began to feel spring again. I felt my heart bloom.
On the path to being saved He guided me, protected me. Once I was where He intended me to be he let go of me and let me stand on my own two feet. I had found Him again. Now it was up to me. Being saved meant I had to start to grow. It became my responsibility to know God.
On the path to being saved He guided me, protected me. Once I was where He intended me to be he let go of me and let me stand on my own two feet. I had found Him again. Now it was up to me. Being saved meant I had to start to grow. It became my responsibility to know God.
The Lord has a path and a plan for all of us. We just have to learn to listen when he guides us. Learn to spot the people he uses to nudge us in the right direction. You can't just coast on his path or plan. It is not a road paved with gold. You must fight through the wilderness of this world and suffer your own winters. With a smile and a some prayer you'll find spring again.
PSALM 4 (prayer for those who feel alone)
1Corinthians 7:7 (Each man has his own gift from God)
James 1:22 (Do not just listen to the word)
James 2:14 (Faith and action)
PSALM 4 (prayer for those who feel alone)
1Corinthians 7:7 (Each man has his own gift from God)
James 1:22 (Do not just listen to the word)
James 2:14 (Faith and action)
